is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
