there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
