Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
