Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
