$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
