Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Blood and glitter go together right?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
