I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
