I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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