You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
