I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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