ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
...so i touched it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
