The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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