My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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