I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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