turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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