She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
