Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
