so that wasnt chicken after all
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
