Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
