wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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