How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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