Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
