On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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