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• (207): View more from Maine

  I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants

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• (805): View more from California

  My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.

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• (555): View more from

  Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.

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• (619): View more from California

  TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.

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