I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
