I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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