this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize