I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
