This is not my ceiling
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
