Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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