i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
this is an emotional support booty call
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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