Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you

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(248): View more from Michigan

New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

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(706): View more from Georgia

yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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(408): View more from California

Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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(904): View more from Florida

the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

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(613): View more from Ontario

Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?

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(410): View more from Maryland

I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.

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(447): View more from

Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public

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