absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
