I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
