remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
