She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
