porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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