great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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