In the future we'll all be gay
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
