Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I love you. Go after that dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
