You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
