singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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