There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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