Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
