Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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