Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
