people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I pour the whiskey from now on
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize