I'll bet she douches with gravy.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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