I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
