Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Every concussion has its silver lining
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
