Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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