great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
