she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
