if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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