that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
