If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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