So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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