His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize