You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
