he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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