dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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