Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
