At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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