I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
