I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
