I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ttyl tear gas
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
